1
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( Theme music playing )

2
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♪ All the shadows in the city ♪

3
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♪ Used to love you,
what a pity ♪

4
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♪ I miss the questions
you used to ask me ♪

5
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♪ Bored to death,
cut, mad and lonely ♪

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♪ Bored to death, cut,
mad and lonely... ♪

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- (coughs)
- ♪ Bored to death ♪

8
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♪ Cut, mad and lonely. ♪

9
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( whistle blows )

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( quiet piano music playing )

11
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Mm, I love martinis.
They heal all wounds.

12
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After about 1,000 of them
I'm still amazed.

13
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But your poor liver
has had to work so hard.

14
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I know, I know.
I'm very proud of her.

15
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Your liver's female?

16
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All of my internal organs are women.

17
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Listen, I have an early
surprise birthday present for you.

18
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When is your birthday, by the way?

19
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In about six months.

20
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Oh, well, then this is very early.

21
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You know the director
Jim Jarmusch, right...

22
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"Down by Law," "Broken Flowers"?

23
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Yeah, I love his movies.

24
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Well, I saw Jarmusch the other night.

25
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Oh, he has very good hair, just...

26
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anyway, he wants to meet
with you, give you a script to read.

27
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Why does he want me to read his script?

28
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Turns out that he loves your first novel

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and he wants you to do
a revision of one of his screenplays.

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We're gonna meet him
at a Film Society party tomorrow sometime

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and I've set the whole thing up for you.

32
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I don't know, you know.

33
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I really should be working on my book.

34
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And look, I don't know
how to write screenplays.

35
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You need a computer program or something.

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- It's crazy.
- Don't be a milquetoast, Jonathan.

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This is a very big opportunity for you.

38
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It could be a life changer.

39
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Can one screenplay really change a life?

40
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Sometimes.

41
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Do I want my life to change?

44
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- No, don't turn around.
- Sorry.

45
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- What?
- Don't draw attention.

46
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Just sit... just sit there.

47
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Who are they?

48
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Oh, damn it, I can't stand him.

49
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I can't believe this is happening.

50
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Richard used to work for me years ago.

51
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And that's Priscilla,

52
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my best ex-wife.

53
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They recently moved
back to New York.

54
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This is not gonna work.
Come on, let's get out of here.

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Why was she your best wife?

56
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Everything with her was
as intimate as kissing.

57
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I never really got over it...

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the most orgasmic woman
I've ever been with.

59
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Who was the most orgasmic
woman you've ever been with?

60
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( laughs ) Well, Antrem.

61
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You could use my first name, George.

62
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But I hope I'm not the most orgasmic
woman you've ever been with.

63
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I'm not that easy.

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- Hello, Priscilla.
- Hello, George.

65
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You look absolutely beautiful.

66
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No, I don't.
I look like shit, but thank you.

67
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How do I look?

68
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Depraved but well-fed.

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Jonathan, this is Richard
and Priscilla Antrem.

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Richard is the new editor
of "Women's Wear Daily."

71
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George, you know I'm editing "GQ."
Don't be petty.

72
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Oh, I'm sorry. I get the two confused.

73
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Of course you do.
You know, you ought to try

74
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doing "The Times" crossword puzzle.

75
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It's supposed to be really
good for senile dementia.

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Richard, George, please.

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It's very nice to meet the both of you.

78
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Same here.

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So who was the most orgasmic
woman you've ever been with?

80
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No, I wasn't talking about me, actually.

81
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Jonathan here mentioned
a woman that he was dating

82
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that was, what did you say, very lively?

83
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- Lively.
- Really?

84
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You know, you've got
an awfully good grip.

85
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That's probably kind of
handy in bed, isn't it?

86
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So how orgasmic was she?

87
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Thank you about the grip.

88
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Yeah, I... she was...

89
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I don't want to be rude.

90
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It's all right.
I don't mind talking about sex.

91
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It's what everybody's
thinking about anyway.

92
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Why don't we sit down
and have a drink and be civilized?

93
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You know, I'd love to, but we actually were
on our way out right now.

94
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So maybe some other time.

95
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So anyway,

96
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hello and goodbye.

97
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Nice to meet you.

98
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Just...

99
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Wow, that was really weird...
the way Antrem wouldn't let go of my hand.

100
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Oh, he's a strange and tormented creature.

101
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It really disturbs me

102
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that Priscilla loved me once
and now loves him.

103
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I'd hate to think what that means.

104
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They're very nice ladies.
Well, one of them is.

105
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I'd be doing them a huge favor.

106
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I don't feel good about this.

107
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I don't want you to be a sperm donor.

108
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But it's flattering.
They're fans of my work.

109
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I've never had lesbian fans before.

110
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They should go to a sperm bank.

111
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You can't just give your sperm

112
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to two girls you met in a cafe.

113
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I met you in a cafe.

114
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Ray, I just feel like you
shouldn't be doing this.

115
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The world is overpopulated.

116
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You know there's an island of plastic

117
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the size of Texas in the Pacific.

118
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I know, Leah.
You told me this 1000 times.

119
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Please don't dismiss what I'm saying.

120
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Overpopulation is important to me.

121
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Look, I don't think that
me giving these lesbians

122
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one illegitimate child

123
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is gonna add that much plastic.

124
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You have two children.
Why can't I have one?

125
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But you haven't thought this through.

126
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You don't listen to me.

127
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I do listen.
I've heard everything you've said.

128
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Really? You don't listen listen.

129
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I want you to go for therapy.

130
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Oh, God.

131
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Okay.

132
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I'll trade you therapy for sex.

133
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It's been almost three weeks.

134
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I think it's sweet
you know how long it's been.

135
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( Crowd chattering )

136
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Well, let's get a drink.

137
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Keep an eye out for Jarmusch.

138
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God, there's a lot of
good-looking women here...

139
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much better than at book parties.

140
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Hello. Hi.

141
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Goodbye.

142
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- White wine?
- Yeah.

143
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Why is it wherever I go
I look for Suzanne?

144
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Because your heart's broken, Jonathan.

145
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You're looking for the piece that is her
to put it back together.

146
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I'll probably do the same with Priscilla

147
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now that she's back in town, God help me.

148
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Well, if this thing works out with Jarmusch

149
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I'll be so distracted
that I'll forget about Suzanne.

150
00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:58,377
Movies equal money, women,
glamour, more women.

151
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:00,379
See, I like that. That's positive thinking.

152
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,547
But is any of it meaningful?

153
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,091
No, but it's fun.

154
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Mm, there's Jarmusch.

155
00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:08,721
All right, let's go. All right?

156
00:07:08,888 --> 00:07:10,389
Look at that hair. God I love that.

157
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,600
- Jim.
- Hey, George.

158
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This is...

159
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I'm sorry, I forgot your name.
We just met.

160
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Miriam.

161
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Nice to meet you.
George Christopher.

162
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- And this is Jonathan Ames.
- Hello.

163
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- Ah, the man I want to meet.
- It's very nice to meet you.

164
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Would you excuse us?
We have some business to talk over.

165
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- Sure.
- Thanks.

166
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,994
Are those hummingbirds?

167
00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:35,539
Oh, yes. Yeah, they're
dipping their beaks into flowers.

168
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I love them.

169
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What was your name again?

170
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:44,757
Miriam.

171
00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:46,759
So I really loved your novel...

172
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dark, funny, perverted, beautiful.

173
00:07:49,679 --> 00:07:53,599
You must really suffer
from the terrifying clarity of your vision.

174
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Thank you. I do suffer.

175
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,269
Thank you.

176
00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,271
Take a look at this screenplay.

177
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I kind of dashed it off.

178
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It's about the New York poet
Frank O'Hara.

179
00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:06,112
He had a beautiful nose like a boxer.

180
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:07,780
Yeah, I know. I love his nose.

181
00:08:07,947 --> 00:08:11,117
He got run over by a dune buggy
on Fire Island.

182
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:14,578
Anyway, I'd like you
to think about doing a rewrite on this.

183
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:15,997
- George has my number.
- Great.

184
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,999
Thank you so much for this opportunity.

185
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,418
I love your work and
I can't wait to read this.

186
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:21,585
Thanks.

187
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,879
Oh, did you have this script
made just for me?

188
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,297
My name's on the cover.

189
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,675
Well, you know, now when you
give someone a script to read

190
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:29,677
it's kind of standard practice

191
00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:31,971
to laser print their name on every page.

192
00:08:32,138 --> 00:08:33,305
Oh, I see.

193
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,641
Well, this is not a big deal,
but my name is misspelled.

194
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:38,060
There's no "O" at the end.
It's "Jonathan,"

195
00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,478
not "Jonathon."

196
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:40,980
Yeah, man, I don't know.

197
00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:42,732
It's not really important.

198
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,233
But call me tomorrow

199
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,861
and it's really great to meet you.

200
00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:48,696
- Great to meet you.
- Thanks, Jonathan.

201
00:08:48,863 --> 00:08:51,407
Thank you, Jim Jarmusch.

202
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,534
- Whew.
- Do you know Jim Jarmusch?

203
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,369
Uh, yeah.

204
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,455
He's my favorite director of all time.

205
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,665
His films are like poems that come to life.

206
00:08:59,832 --> 00:09:01,917
It's really interesting
that you should say that.

207
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,670
The film that we might work on together
is actually sort of about that.

208
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,672
You're gonna work with Jim Jarmusch?

209
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:09,175
Yeah.

210
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,343
( Dance music playing )

211
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,682
I don't want to go
to a bar on Smith Street.

212
00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:18,684
Let's just go back to my place.

213
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,978
I live with my dad, but
he'll be out tonight.

214
00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:22,313
We can have a drink there.

215
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,482
Okay, what year again are you at NYU?

216
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,692
- Senior.
- Senior? Okay.

217
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:28,694
Wait, so you're 22, right?

218
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:30,362
I'm going to be soon. I'm 21.

219
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,823
You don't think I'm too old, do you?
I'm 30.

220
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,993
30 is cool.
I've been with guys older than you.

221
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,704
But are you a man or a boy?

222
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:41,582
Well, what's the difference?

223
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,584
With a man you feel

224
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,669
like you're being taken and you like it.

225
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:49,090
And with a boy you feel
like they're stealing something from you

226
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,591
and you don't like it.

227
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,259
Huh.

228
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,390
This is it. Thank you.

229
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,395
Shit, my dad is home already.

230
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,065
We can go to Seventh Avenue
and grab a drink.

231
00:10:06,232 --> 00:10:08,943
No, we'll go in his office.
It's fun in there.

232
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,195
Wow, it's a beautiful brownstone.

233
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:17,785
Oh, your dad's a therapist?

234
00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:19,453
Yeah, he's a pain in the ass.

235
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,705
He thinks he's the Carl Jung of Brooklyn.

236
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:23,082
I like Carl Jung.

237
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:25,292
Not when he's your dad
and he acts like your diary

238
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,545
is part of the collective unconscious.

239
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,098
Wait.

240
00:10:39,265 --> 00:10:41,725
Sorry, I keep thinking
about people sitting on this couch

241
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,644
talking about being sexually abused.

242
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:46,272
That's what makes it fun.

243
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,440
Oh.

244
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,278
You're a good kisser.

245
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,363
Am I a manly kisser?

246
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,407
Yeah.

247
00:10:56,574 --> 00:10:58,617
Do you want to go to my prom with me?

248
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,619
NYU has proms?

249
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,830
Oh, shit. I'm drunk.

250
00:11:02,997 --> 00:11:05,082
I should be honest with you.

251
00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:06,709
I don't go to NYU.

252
00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:08,460
Where do you go? Hunter?

253
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:09,670
St. Anne's.

254
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,547
The high school?
How old are you?

255
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:14,175
- Old enough.
- Wait wait wait.

256
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,385
You want me to go
to your senior prom, right? You're 18?

257
00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:18,304
- No, junior prom.
- You're 17?

258
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,055
- 16.
- 16 years old?

259
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,141
But I'll be 17 in two weeks.

260
00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:24,977
You're 16?
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

261
00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:26,395
Don't freak out.

262
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,148
I haven't been a virgin for almost a year.

263
00:11:29,315 --> 00:11:31,483
I probably know more
about sex than you do.

264
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:34,528
I know plenty about sex, okay?

265
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:38,115
That doesn't matter.
You said you were 21 years old.

266
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:40,993
There's a big difference
between 21 and 16.

267
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,161
Look, I'm sorry.

268
00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:43,996
You're beautiful, but I have to leave.

269
00:11:44,163 --> 00:11:45,497
I feel really guilty.

270
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,416
I wish I had met you in high school.

271
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:48,918
I wouldn't have liked you then.

272
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,086
That's true.

273
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,214
If you really have to go

274
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,717
I want to give you something
to remember me by.

275
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:01,430
And you can tell Jim
he can put me in his movie.

276
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:04,350
Don't do that.
Don't do that.

277
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,935
No no.

278
00:12:09,355 --> 00:12:11,190
Dad!

279
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:12,858
What the hell is going on here?

280
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:16,946
No, please.

281
00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:22,243
That's right. Run, you little shit!

282
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,847
Oh, shit, the script.

283
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,827
- You're gonna go to your mother's.
- You don't understand me.

284
00:13:04,994 --> 00:13:07,162
I don't want to understand you.
You're gonna go to your mother's.

285
00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:09,665
You can't deal with being attracted
to your own daughter.

286
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,751
Do not try to pull transference on me.
I invented transference.

287
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:14,086
( Screams )

288
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,926
I called the girl, but she's already in
Connecticut with her mom

289
00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:22,594
so she can't get the screenplay.

290
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,346
What the hell am I gonna do?

291
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,806
You gotta break into that place.

292
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,183
I can't break into a therapy office.

293
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,436
Why? What difference
does it make that it's a therapy office?

294
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,479
- You gotta get in there.
- No, it's not possible.

295
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,649
George is gonna kill me
and so is Jim Jarmusch.

296
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,651
Well, they can't both kill you.

297
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,945
Look, just call the dad and ask for it.

298
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,865
He will shoot me.
She's only 16 years old...

299
00:13:43,032 --> 00:13:45,117
well, nearly 17. Nearly 17.

300
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:47,369
You didn't sodomize her, did you?

301
00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:49,204
- No.
- That's too bad.

302
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,956
You gotta be careful.

303
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,125
A lot of things fall under sodomy.

304
00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:54,793
I wonder if kissing is sodomy.

305
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,712
Don't say that.

306
00:13:56,879 --> 00:14:01,383
Okay, I need to get this screenplay.

307
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:04,178
I'm supposed to call Jim Jarmusch
today and tell him what I think.

308
00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:06,722
Just ignore it. Don't answer your phone.
That's what I would do.

309
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:09,725
But I don't want it to blow over.
I want this.

310
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,727
I can't work on my novel.

311
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,188
I need this job.

312
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,859
What about you go to the therapist

313
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,861
as a patient?

314
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,321
Why? I don't need help.

315
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:24,698
No, it's not about that.
It's about getting the script.

316
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,700
You could act like you've lost control

317
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,661
and then just stick your hand behind
the couch, grab the thing and flee.

318
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,871
Why don't you do that?

319
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,873
Because I'm too close
to the whole situation.

320
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,167
I'll blow it. Please.

321
00:14:35,334 --> 00:14:37,961
I'll pay for the therapy,
give you 50 bucks

322
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,005
and buy you dinner
at Sammy's Romanian.

323
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,924
I do like Sammy's.

324
00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:46,845
Okay, yeah.

325
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:49,139
I mean, Leah has been trying
to get me to go to therapy

326
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:52,351
and maybe this way
she'll get off my back and onto hers.

327
00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:54,520
What? What did I say?

328
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:59,233
Uh, Jonathan found
a therapist that he likes

329
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,027
and I'm gonna go

330
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:05,447
just like you said,
so then we'll, you know...

331
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,449
Great, 'cause once you go
for a few months

332
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,952
and learn the language
we can go for couples' counseling.

333
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,291
So what should I talk about in there?

334
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,293
The guy already thinks I'm nuts...

335
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,295
asking for a suicidal emergency meeting.

336
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,297
No, that's fine. Just throw a fit,

337
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,134
pull back the couch,
grab the script and run out of there.

338
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,553
That is the worst plan ever.

339
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,388
I gotta warm up before I flip out.

340
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:32,474
I gotta lull the guy in.
If I go nuts immediately

341
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,727
he might try to throw
a straitjacket on me or something.

342
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,229
That's true.

343
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:40,441
Maybe I'll come up with some fake issues

344
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:44,403
like I overeat...

345
00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:46,238
You sort of do, don't you?

346
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,073
- Don't be rude.
- Sorry.

347
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,742
Or maybe talk about how Leah
never wants to have sex with me.

348
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,494
Well, that sounds like another real issue.

349
00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,580
Do you want my help or not?

350
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,082
Yes, I'm sorry.
Okay, that's the place right there.

351
00:15:57,249 --> 00:15:59,293
Okay, I'll see you in an hour

352
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,503
or 50 minutes.

353
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,759
Rays

354
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,761
thank you for saving my life.

355
00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,763
I'll wait for you here by this tree.

356
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,433
Okay, thank you, Boo Radley.

357
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,967
Hey, where's the screenplay?

358
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:51,637
I didn't get it. I forgot, I'm sorry.

359
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,388
The session was too much.

360
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:54,890
What the hell happened in there?

361
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:57,392
He gutted me like a fish.

362
00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,686
He said I was so cut off from my feelings

363
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,105
that everyone in my life would die

364
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,858
without knowing that
I ever really loved them.

365
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,985
God, that's terrible. I'm sorry.

366
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,987
- I want to go home.
- Okay.

367
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,989
I want a beer.
I want an ice-cream sandwich.

368
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:13,325
I want to take a nap.
And then I'm going to get...

369
00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:15,827
( sobbing )

370
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,829
I want to read a comic book.

371
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,874
I want to watch "Little House on
the Prairie" and I want a vodka.

372
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:24,670
Well, this is the biggest screw-up ever.

373
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:27,548
How old was the girl? 14?

374
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,675
No no, 16, nearly 17.

375
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,261
Oh, well, that's not so bad.
Polanski was much worse.

376
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,845
Polanski?

377
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,847
You have got to get
this screenplay back.

378
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,849
Jarmusch is gonna blame me.

379
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,351
I'm sorry, George.

380
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:42,187
I think you did this on purpose.
You self-sabotaged.

381
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:44,523
Woman:
George, are you coming back to bed?

382
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,024
I'm lonely.

383
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,943
In a minute. Put on the TV.

384
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,361
Who's in there?

385
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:52,239
Miriam from the other night.

386
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:56,618
She's not Priscilla, but she's wonderful.

387
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,705
You know, I'm very oral nowadays.

388
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:03,333
I feel like I'm half man, half infant.

389
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:07,087
George, please.
I watch TV all the time.

390
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,380
Hi, Jonathan.

391
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:10,382
Hi.

392
00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:12,384
I'll be right in.

393
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:15,387
You look absolutely beautiful.

394
00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:17,598
So do you.

395
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,729
God.
( laughs )

396
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,731
She makes me feel like I'm 50 again.

397
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,733
Now I'm feeling oral.

398
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:30,068
Okay, all right, look,
you gotta work this out.

399
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,903
I don't want Jarmusch pissed off at me.

400
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,072
But how am I gonna get the script back?

401
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:36,241
I don't know. I'm gonna have to
give you tough love.

402
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,577
You did this. You clean it up.

403
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:40,912
Miriam:
George, please.

404
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,206
( Chuckles )

405
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,125
( exhales )

406
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,096
I'm proud of you for going to therapy.

407
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,608
I'm sorry, I can't tonight.

408
00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:13,195
That guy eviscerated me.

409
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:15,781
My penis is totally recessed.

410
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:17,324
What?

411
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:19,951
When I was a little kid
I used to like to push my penis in

412
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:23,288
to make it look like it disappeared.

413
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:26,124
Today that happened all by itself.

414
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,630
( Whimpers )

415
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,636
Okay.

416
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:48,939
So I'm not the kind of therapist
that pussyfoots around.

417
00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:50,607
I like to dig in fast and I give feedback.

418
00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:52,192
Stop fidgeting.
What are you doing with your arm?

419
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,860
Nothing. I'm just nervous.

420
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,654
Put your hands in your lap.
Focus.

421
00:19:55,821 --> 00:19:58,990
Sit up. Good posture
sends positive messages to the brain.

422
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:02,119
We're here to work. So what are
your issues? Give them to me.

423
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:06,039
Well, I am sad about this breakup
I just went through.

424
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,207
- She left you?
- Yes.

425
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,209
And now you feel
rejected and unlovable

426
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,169
and you can't understand
why she no longer loves you?

427
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:12,587
- Yes.
- You do know

428
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,881
that she is not the only
source of love for you in the world?

429
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,425
But I want her love.

430
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,427
We don't get everything
we want in life.

431
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:19,928
We don't get to ever love.

432
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,514
That's it. End of story. Next issue.

433
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,516
Oh.

434
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:27,936
Okay, well,

435
00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:30,147
I'm a writer

436
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,524
and I've been struggling
to write my second novel.

437
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:35,944
I'm thinking about moving over
to writing screenplays.

438
00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:37,612
- Have you?
- Not yet.

439
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,406
Okay, well, let's talk about
the second novel then.

440
00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:41,533
Was your father competitive
with you growing up,

441
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:43,535
didn't like your mother showing you
too much attention?

442
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,204
Mm, a little.
He never complimented me.

443
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,331
And whenever I hugged
my mother he said

444
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:51,209
that it disturbed him
to see me acting like a mama's boy.

445
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,837
Well, simple then...
you can't write a second book

446
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,423
because you're afraid to hurt your father.
It's a classic Oedipal setup.

447
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:59,384
But how is writing my novel
being like Oedipus?

448
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,678
Because in doing so
you will surpass your father.

449
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,431
Oedipus killed his father
and slept with his mother.

450
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,850
Success for you is like murder.

451
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,560
But you are not a murderer.

452
00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:10,896
Hmm.
Well, thank you.

453
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,272
So what should I do?

454
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,483
Just know that you're allowed
to write a second book

455
00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,735
and your father won't be hurt.
And if he is, fuck him.

456
00:21:16,902 --> 00:21:19,237
But I love my dad.

457
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,239
Well, then don't write
a second novel

458
00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:24,576
and don't come whining to me.
Next issue.

459
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:28,205
Put the hands in the lap.

460
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,207
Focus.

461
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,833
Next issue.

462
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,169
All right.

463
00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:39,758
I put up this thing on Craigslist

464
00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:42,803
advertising myself as an unlicensed
private detective.

465
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,763
- I've had a few cases.
- So what's the problem?

466
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:47,849
Is it wrong? I do say I'm unlicensed.

467
00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:49,601
Sounds to me like you're
leading a double life.

468
00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:52,646
I think that I am.
I'm like a Russian doll.

469
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:55,607
There's all these
versions of me in me.

470
00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:58,193
There's only one you
and he's running away from his life.

471
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,321
Oedipus, you know,
was the first detective in literature.

472
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:04,616
He uncovered mysteries
to find out who he was.

473
00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:07,035
I'm sorry, so let me
just get this straight...

474
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:08,870
I'm not gonna get my girlfriend back;

475
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,539
I'm afraid to write my second novel;

476
00:22:10,705 --> 00:22:12,123
And I'm a 21st-century Oedipus?

477
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:14,125
- Yes.
- Hmm.

478
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:17,420
But there is one other thing.

479
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,967
I know why you're really here.

480
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:25,053
I'm not an idiot, you know.
Your name is on every page.

481
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:27,597
Well, I would have used a false name
when I made the appointment

482
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,599
but my insurance are sticklers and...

483
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,643
- so you know about me and Claudia?
- Yes.

484
00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,645
And you're not mad?
I thought she was 21.

485
00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:36,147
We did only kiss.
She's very mature for her age.

486
00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:37,983
I promise you I only kissed her.

487
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:40,986
I'm not mad at you. My daughter
is precocious and wild like my ex-wife.

488
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,988
She likes to sleep with
boys in my office...

489
00:22:43,154 --> 00:22:45,156
Electra complex.
So I don't blame you.

490
00:22:45,323 --> 00:22:47,200
Thank you, but we did only kiss.

491
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:50,078
Also I don't mix my personal life
and my work life.

492
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:52,247
This office is my professional domain,

493
00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:54,666
a sanctuary where clients can be safe.

494
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:57,919
And you're a client, even though
you're here under false pretenses.

495
00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,921
- I'm sorry.
- But outside these doors

496
00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:02,382
I would cease to be a therapist.

497
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:05,010
- I would become a father.
- I understand.

498
00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:07,512
Considering the circumstances,

499
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,514
I want to end the session now.

500
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:14,269
Thank you.

501
00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:16,688
So why were you so hell-bent
on getting this script back?

502
00:23:16,855 --> 00:23:19,441
Well, because I have a chance
to work with Jim Jarmusch.

503
00:23:19,608 --> 00:23:21,192
And if I do, my whole life could change.

504
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,278
Sounds like an illusion to me.

505
00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:25,697
Lives don't change.
We simply become

506
00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:27,616
more comfortable with our core misery,

507
00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:29,618
which is a form of happiness.

508
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:31,828
Right.

509
00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:39,961
Thank you for being
so understanding about everything.

510
00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:51,139
- One last thing.
- Yeah?

511
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:53,141
If you go near my daughter again

512
00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:56,102
I'll break your fucking neck!

513
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,729
( Groans )

514
00:23:57,896 --> 00:23:59,731
( Pants )

515
00:23:59,898 --> 00:24:02,609
( groans )

516
00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:08,156
Same time next week?

517
00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:12,410
Hey, Jonathan.
I'm glad you found me.

518
00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:14,120
( Toots horn )

519
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:15,914
This is where I do my best thinking.

520
00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:18,041
Yes, the place is great.

521
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,043
Jim... Mr. Jarmusch,

522
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,753
your assistant said you were here.

523
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,255
Sorry to intrude, but I read the script...

524
00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:25,924
which I love... and I've got

525
00:24:26,091 --> 00:24:27,425
a lot of good ideas about what to do.

526
00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,427
Oh, man, that's too bad, you know.

527
00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:31,429
When I didn't hear from you yesterday

528
00:24:31,596 --> 00:24:32,931
I called Charlie Kaufman.

529
00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:34,808
He's been sitting on this script

530
00:24:34,975 --> 00:24:37,852
for, like, two months.
He finally read it

531
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:40,271
and he wants to do the revisions.

532
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:43,900
But I've got a lot of good thoughts.

533
00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:45,944
I'm really sorry about this, you know,

534
00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:48,321
but I can't say no to Charlie Kaufman.

535
00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:50,782
But you know what?
I'll keep you in mind

536
00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:52,575
if something comes up.

537
00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:56,454
I do make a new film, like,
every four years or so.

538
00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:59,290
You should write
another book, man.

539
00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:01,501
I'd definitely read it.

540
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:05,714
( Sighs )

541
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:14,014
( toots horn )

542
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,851
( theme music playing )

543
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:23,898
♪ All the shadows in the city ♪

544
00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:28,111
♪ Used to love you,
what a pity ♪

545
00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:31,823
♪ I miss the questions
you used to ask me ♪

546
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:35,618
♪ All the shadows in the city ♪

547
00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,287
♪ All right ♪

548
00:25:40,331 --> 00:25:44,461
♪ Bored to death,
plus expenses ♪

549
00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:48,631
♪ The only trouble
is my sentence ♪

550
00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:52,302
♪ You said you'd never
love another ♪

551
00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:56,598
♪ A Russian doll,
one inside the other. ♪